"Some seasons just don’t make sense, don’t go the way we planned and are just horrible to live through. But have we taken a moment in those seasons to step back and count the many blessings that we still seem to have in abundance? Sobana shares her one story about how blessed she was at a low point in her life."
by Sobana Baskaran
There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.
Sometimes I get to thinking about my purpose in life “Am I on the right track with what I am doing?”
I lost my job back in April 2020 due to the pandemic.
Even through that, God was merciful.
He gave me an opportunity to join a close friend’s company on 11th June 2020.
I have to say, the pandemic has taught me many things like being thankful and waiting upon God’s timing.
I was trying hard to fit into a role I never had before and I never worked almost everyday in my entire life.
Weekends were something I looked forward to for rest after a productive week, but that simply didn’t seem the case.
I even hastily made a verbal resignation upon one week of joining the company, but thankfully, my boss was kind enough to not let me go.
I kept reminding myself to be thankful for all of God’s blessings during this season.
I have heard about numerous people losing their jobs, and how the job market wasn’t very welcoming in this time.
All these factors weighed into my situation and made me cling on tighter to my job and work harder than ever to do my best, until it even received recognition from my boss and colleagues.
It truly seemed the dream job I was meant to have - working remotely, having flexible hours, supervising a team - these should all add credibility to my resume, but alas, I did not find the peace and joy in doing all this.
I knew my passion was teaching but how was I to start a class of my own amidst the uncertainties of Covid-19?
Should I pursue my passion or hang in there.
This season actually brought me closer to God.
I clung on to prayer meetings and every little time I got to devote to prayer.
"Even if it was a quick one, prayer helped take away my anxiety and kept me reminded of how good my God is. How good is He that I am still able to work when many are suffering from unemployment and uncertainty."
I wish it was a garden of roses from then but the day finally came, when I fell terribly ill.
That made me realise that my job wasn’t doing me any good.
All my past failures, or times where I left a job hastily or was terminated, started to play back in my mind.
I had a crippling fear that perhaps, I have made the same blunder again by taking this job.
After a moment of prayer and discussion with my partner, I tendered my resignation.
And guess what? The school which let me go during MCO, called me the same day to rejoin!!
I had been actively applying for jobs at various companies and education centres, but none called back nor responded.
There had to be a reason why this particular school called me back, more so on the day I tendered my resignation with my current employer.
I immediately responded with “yes” because I didn’t want to miss the opportunity.
However, after accepting their offer, I began to feel restless and anxious.
This school was riddled with politics and had such poor disciplinary system, students are rude and have no respect for the teachers.
What a dilemma?
But look at me, this is exactly what I had been praying for - to get back into teaching - but what do I do when I was blessed with the opportunity?
Complain!
I prepared myself for the possibility that the school will end up not giving me an offer letter.
To be honest, I would be more than happy to join elsewhere, but I did receive the offer letter, and just last week, I reported back to work.
All my worries, dilemma and restlessness were completely washed away the moment I stepped in and my colleagues greeted me with big smiles and hugs.
They were so excited to have me back. My school principal was also happy to have me back. What’s more? The students seemed to be more under control now.
They complete whatever work that is given to them and show more respect to the teachers.
For a moment, I was still in disbelief.
Am I dreaming or is it really happening for real? Was such a change possible? How could the entire situation that I was afraid of or was uncomfortable with turn into something so beautiful.
I was counting days to leave this place before and now my perception has changed entirely.
"There will be a season where you are put to a test. Temptation comes and you start doubting the blessings given to you. There will be a season, that you are crushed so that God can prune you and give you the best."
Now, I am taking things as it comes by, and I am still undergoing my probation in this school.
Through this experience, I realised God will fight the battle for us.
We just need to truly trust and have complete faith in Him.
My human nature was doubting His marvelous work but He never fails to amaze me.
There is a time for everything and we have to be patient.
The pandemic season has taught me patience and how to appreciate what I was blessed with. If I keep comparing myself to someone else or keep wanting something better in the eyes of a material world, I would never find joy or peace.
I would always feel like I am lacking the blessings given to me. I have learnt that I should be happy and rejoice in all that God has blessed me with.
Have we counted our blessings and been thankful for them?
There may be times that you lose your belongings, your job, have your relationships broken, especially in seasons like this pandemic.
But do we know that we are still so blessed?
We are still ALIVE!
It’s time we understand that we can never understand God’s plan for us.
So when something is taken away or leaves you, it is all for a blessing.
Also it’s time to be free of guilt - don’t live in it. Move on to the next chapter that’s awaiting you.
My life has always been a roller coaster ride, but I completely trust and have faith in God and surrender to Him.
I wish you too would see the goodness of what has been given to you by God and be happy.
By Sobana Baskaran
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