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"How many of you find it suddenly scary to think about what the future holds? Now imagine having to deal with that worry while battling self-hate, family problems, joblessness, a break-etc. This week we have an amazing life story of our very own Daniel Louis. He shares about how his ugly and painful past was exchanged for a beautiful and promising future. "
by Daniel Louis
What is most uncertain and certain in this world?
Life is uncertain and death is certain.
How do we live a life that is bound by uncertainties? What must we do to live with confidence that life will be taken care of well even though it is filled with uncertainty?
Let me share my story.
I grew up in a middle-class family in one of the most notorious areas in Kuala Lumpur - Sentul. My family are faithful Christians who are active in serving our local church. My dad was a choirmaster who played a number of musical instruments and my mom was a teacher.
Between my younger brother and I, I had always been the more inquisitive and mischievous one who found it hard to cope in both primary and secondary school. Many teachers gave up on me all throughout my schooling life and they were most certain that I was unteachable
My parents gave their all to educate me and impart important values, but being quite a rebel, it must have been tough for them to say the least. The notoriety in Sentul also meant that I grew up getting bullied in school and I never really had friends.
By the age of 20, I joined a gang, for two reasons in particular; One, to feel like I belonged in a group I could call friends; Two to be “protected”.
Once in, I began leading a dangerously rebellious life associated with notorious gangsters. By then, I was already a heavy chain smoker and alcoholic, and by age 23, I was using cannabis.
I could not last for more than a year at any full-time jobs and my track record was beyond bad.
For the most part of my life, I had been repeatedly told that I was “unteachable”, “hopeless”, “tiresome” and “stupid”. These words had been drilled into my mind so much that I may even have started believing them.
I did try getting my life in order several times, making efforts to change my life, however, a big part of me was still stuck in the past, of who I was and what I did.
Not long after that, I crumbled into severe depression stemming from a failed relationship and I began using heavily to escape a painful and dreadful reality. Great debts started to amount because I was trying to feed my drug habits while being jobless, and by this time,
I had no one to hold on to as everybody I knew had given up on me. There were many times I overdosed. Those times, I wished I never woke up, or wanted to jump in front of a speeding vehicle or from a building just to end my misery. As far as I could see, my future was doomed. I had no more hope left in me.
But I am truly glad there was one thing I always did through each facet of my life, maybe because of my upbringing, and that was to surrender all my situations to God no matter how great the consequence, cost and pain.
Even though I led a life that was rebellious and I faced the consequences because of it, God never let me go.
Today, I am very far off from the life I led and God has done amazing miracles in my life. For a guy who was addicted to smoking and drugs for more than 10 years, with huge debts and who was pretty much seen as a failure, I have completely been set free from everything of the past and have been blessed with a new beginning that has been taking me to heights I never thought I could reach.
Life has never been better!
I have gained so much through my experiences that what used to be my shame and guilt, I hold as my greatest asset today. All this is only possible because I always kept a heart of total surrender to God. If you are going through tough times today trying your best to cope, just know that if you surrender all your situations to God, He can turn it around for the ultimate BEST!
Though life is uncertain, you can look forward to a future with great confidence through submission to God’s will.
My life is a testimony of this.
Without Jesus I would have died a long time ago.
Today I am alive and awake to feel the fullness of life because He is the greatest gift of life. A gift I shall never depart from.
by Daniel Louis
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