“Your mom can’t be saved anymore. All her organs have failed and she is in a critical state. I am sorry,” those were the words from Dr S on a Wednesday morning.
by Sobana Baskaran
“Your mom can’t be saved anymore. All her organs have failed and she is in a critical state. I am sorry”, those were the words from Dr S on a Wednesday morning. The bond that I shared with my mom was truly special. I felt like I was a mirage of her personality and attributes. People often said that I have gotten my looks from her. My mom was my pillar of strength after I lost my dad in 2003. Both my sister and I never once felt that we have lost our dad because she filled that void and always gave us the best. I always felt that she will never leave us but grow old with us. However, reality struck me that morning. At one moment, I was just wishing it was just a nightmare. She was a warrior till she breathed her last breath on the morning of 8.12.2014.
Life was not easy because I was always seeking for comfort. No one can truly understand your feelings and I was disappointed because I was depending on them. I was depending on their comfort, so I can feel comforted. I was relying on them, so they could support me as I went through this rough phase. Because they were not around to support me, I became upset and depressed. Losing mom was one thing but what was even more saddening was my close relations failing to understand me during that already depressing time.
"I was still seeking. Life was still empty, no matter how much I comforted myself. I used to cry into my pillow, feeling lost."
The Void is no longer there.
After a year of mom’s passing, I met my dance mate for dinner. I was having this thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life feeling alone. I felt the void and emptiness but still decided to catch up with him over dinner. Our conversation started very casually and we kept making fun of each other. Then, he realised the pain in my eyes and started sharing with me about God. He was sharing how loving God is, and how life is simple with God.
My friend V, didn’t stop explaining the goodness of God and this went on for a few years. I was still seeking. Life was still empty, no matter how much I comforted myself.
In September 2018, life took a huge turn in my life. In a split second, my life changed completely. The void was no longer there. I had an encounter with God. I could see and think carefully now. I was not affected by people because my comfort was coming from God Himself.
"In a split second, my life changed completely. The void is no longer there. I had an encounter with God."
We seem to think that God is far away and never understands the issues we face, but I realised that He was constantly strengthening me throughout the entire ordeal. He doesn’t ask for anything but our heart.
He asks me to “Ask, seek and knock, and everything will be given to me, which is what is best for me and He knows what's best. Today, here I am standing in front of the world, not feeling alone or like an orphan anymore, because God is my parent who knows what's best for me. Also, it doesn’t mean that life will now be smooth sailing. Life has its own ups and downs. But, God strengthens me to endure them and in that He gives me peace and joy to face the storms of my life.
If you are having a void within you, emptiness, confusion, anger, depression or anything which is affecting your mental health, please reach out for help. You can speak to a friend like I did, seek medical help and even have an open heart for God to touch your life. Just keep asking for answers, keep seeking for solutions to the issues you are facing, and constantly knock on the right door until it opens to you.
Surround yourself with the right friends that speak life and positivity into you like my friend V did. The same way God revealed Himself to me, He will reveal himself to you if you would keep an open heart. You too can be free like me! God loves you!
Have a blessed week,
by Sobana Baskaran
About the Article Contributor :
About the Contributor:
She spreads happiness with her smile and is a good listener. A Classical dancer who also loves singing. Passionate about baking and cooking. Being positive about life. Believes that God knows the best and His timing is perfect. The same way God showers His love, she enthrallingly spreads love through her contagious smile. Educator by profession; full time servant of God. Started writing on our page as a gift of encouragement to cheer one’s day.
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