" Isn't it frustrating, even depressing, when things just do not go as planned? In fact, most of the time, things go the exact opposite direction. This author shares about his tough beginnings and how God came through in unexpected ways."
by Chris Murphy
“JALAN BROOOO!” I learned this slang phrase on my first ever trip to Malaysia this past May/ June. It loosely means ‘…just go with it…’ My wife Christina is originally from Malaysia and even though we’ve been married since July 2016, I had never been to that beautiful country. Her grandmother (affectionately known to everyone as Amma) turned 90 on May 22nd, and members of the family formed a worship band as part of the celebration.
Everything was thrown together pretty last minute with only a bit of loose structure, and I learned from Joshua (playing bass) and his brother Caleb (playing drums) that in such a setting, Malaysian musicians live by that phrase. This past summer also marked the 10 year anniversary of my moving to NYC, and as I reflected on my arduous and humble beginnings in the Big Apple, I can honestly say my journey to where I am today has been the epitome of Jalan!
To me ‘Jalan’ doesn’t mean being naive, complacent and indifferent to what’s happening around you. It means being alert with the knowledge that things seldom go as planned. It means being a mental and emotional ninja ready to adapt moment by moment - to live in the NOW. One of my ‘North Star’ verses in the Bible is “The human mind plans the way, but the LORD directs the steps.” (Proverbs 16:9).
It is a reminder to me of two things:
1) It is not wise to get too attached to how I think things should unfold.
2) It is wise to prayerfully choose a direction and then boldly walk in confidence with the knowledge that God is directing me - even if the path ahead seems unsure and/or demanding.
I was born and raised in south suburban Chicago. Large chunks of my heart are nestled there harboring stories that will make you laugh till you can’t breathe or cry till your eyeballs hurt, but those are for another time. Suffice it to say that my soul needed more space to grow, and my environment couldn’t contain it. I didn’t have much money, and I was never mentored in music, but I had a desire for it and decided to pursue it passionately.
I found an inspiring community college - South Suburban College - that had a well-crafted music program where I busted my butt learning how to read music, learning how to play in a band setting and learning music theory and history. I earned my Associates Degree in Fine Arts and then auditioned for the prestigious Berklee College of Music in Boston. On paper, I was far less qualified than most of the people auditioning, but I knew the direction I needed to walk, and I did it with determination. Miraculously, I was among the 32% of applicants accepted that year!!
The next hurdle was finances - I didn’t have much, but I was able to get some small grants and scholarships and made up the rest with student loans.
My time in Boston was amazing - I was blessed to meet and learn from amazing people, and I created deep friendships that have forever impacted my life. But with one semester to go, I hit a wall. The money had run out. I could no longer afford to finish what I started, and I was faced with a decision. Do I go back to Chicago or stay in Boston? I decided to stay even though I only had enough money for one month’s worth of rent. I took that money, bought a portable PA and rounded up a couple friends to form a trio to perform in Faneuil Hall as part of their licensed busking program. We had to audition and get permits, but it was all worth it.
I survived that spring and summer into the autumn solely on busking! As the weather got colder, we could no longer perform outdoors, and I was finding it hard to make a living solely on music, so I began working as a server at the Top of the Hub - a restaurant on the 52nd floor of the Prudential Building in Boston. It got me through as I did whatever random gigs I could get while trying to find a way to finish my degree.
I felt God’s gentle hand move again when the connections I had made in the administrative offices of Berklee carved out a path for me to complete my final semester with extra grants and scholarships!! I earned my final credits in December 2011 and graduated Summa Cum Laude!
By Summer 2012, I was getting restless. Moving to Chicago felt like taking a step backwards. Staying in Boston felt like I was stagnating. Moving to a new city seemed daunting and a bit terrifying…but it felt like the right move. I thought long, hard and prayerfully on it, and NYC seemed like the best fit. I didn’t know how it was going to work… “The human mind plans the way, but the LORD directs the steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)
I’d saved up a few thousand dollars, but other than that, I had no real job prospects or connections. I rented a U-Haul truck with my friend Jeevan - another Malaysian friend I made at Berklee - and we headed to the Big Apple. Jeevan and I had an all-night writing session at Bad Boy Studios in Manhattan that night. The next day, he was taking a flight to India.
After the session at Bad Boy, we had breakfast at a Manhattan diner, unloaded the U-Haul truck in a Queens storage facility and caught a little bit of sleep in Astoria Park. After a couple hours, I dropped Jeevan at JFK Airport, and it started to settle in that this new chapter had begun. I kept the U-Haul truck an extra night and slept in the back.
The next day I called my friend Matt, who lived in Manhattan and was gracious enough to let me keep my suitcase at his apartment. I dropped off my suitcase that evening and chatted with him and his girlfriend as I made my plans for my 3rd night in NYC. My working plan was to find an all-night diner and then sleep in Central Park when the sun came up, but at the 11th hour I got a message from Haydn - a wild and intelligent character I met from the Boston/Cambridge punk rock community now living in Brooklyn. He was up in Maine for the summer, but tipped me off to a broken down RV outside his spot with no locks and a couple of broken windows that I could crash in. It sure sounded better than an all-nighter at a diner and a rough day of sleeping on a Central Park bench, so I caught a train and found myself in Greenpoint, Brooklyn…in a broken down RV. When I woke the next morning and stepped out of my cozy accommodations, I was faced with a mechanic on his smoke break who greeted me with a sarcasm drenched “…rent must be nice…”
The rest of that month found me in the RV, napping in movie theaters, taking trips up to Boston to crash on friends’ couches and eventually staying a couple nights at my future bro-in-law’s apartment. My days were spent walking all over Manhattan with resumes trying to find work in restaurants while also looking for a room to rent. No one wanted to rent to someone who didn’t have a job, and filling out applications was difficult with no address. I resorted to calling my old manager from Top of the Hub and telling her to vouch for me if anyone called. When calling people looking to rent a room, I started telling them that I went up to Boston to work weekends while finding work in NYC. That seemed to do the trick! I found a room for $750/month plus utilities in Astoria, Queens and needed to pay the first and last month’s rent with a security deposit for a grand total of $2150 to start living like a human again. I had gone through a good bit of my savings by this point and had to resort to using my rainy-day change fund which was sitting in a suitcase in Matt’s Manhattan apartment.
I had over $400 of loose change saved up which I brought to my bank to exchange for bills. They told me I needed to hand roll all the coins for them to accept it. HOURS were then invested in hand rolling thousands of loose quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. I walked back into the bank wearing a smile on a hot and humid Saturday afternoon in August about 30 minutes before they closed knowing I’d be moving into my new spot!! As I plopped the heavy bag of meticulously wrapped change on the counter, the bank teller’s face dropped.
Bank Teller: “…I’m sorry sir, but we can’t accept that...”
Me: “What do you mean? It’s all rolled up.”
Bank Teller: “…well it’s late and that’s too much change…”
Me: “Ok, well, I have an account with the bank, I rolled all these coins as required, and I really need this money, so one of two things is going to happen right now; you’re going to change it for me or you’re going to call the police, because I’m not leaving until this gets changed.”
Bank Teller [with a look of shock]: “…one moment sir…”
[walks into the back room]
:::2 minutes later:::
Bank manager: “We’d be happy to change this for you sir, how do you prefer your bills?”
I now had shelter, but had no income coming in.
After paying for rent, I was left with a couple hundred bucks and sleeping on the floor of my new room with a pillow and a blanket - furniture was sparse. A couple weeks later, my friend Matt’s dad was visiting from Hawaii for the weekend. He is a pastor and was a missionary to war-torn Albania for the majority of the 90’s as they rebuilt their country. He wasn’t able to stay with Matt, and so I offered my place to him. Even though I didn’t have much, I wanted to be a good host. I bought food and prepared a nice meal. We spent those couple of days having great talks about life, relationships, his time in Albania and various discussions about scripture. On the last night, he asked if I’d let him underline some of his favorite verses in my Bible for me to read later, and I gave him my Bible before turning in for the night.
The next morning, I saw him off; he told me to read Jeremiah 29:11 when I got back. I opened up my Bible to Jeremiah 29:11 and three $20 bills fell out… ” For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” I could feel tears welling up inside. I had no idea where next week’s food money was going to come from, let alone next month’s rent, but I never let on to the pastor that I was desperate for money. As I kept on flicking through my Bible, more money would fall out - a $10 bill here, a $50 bill there - all together he’d left me over $200.
I can’t begin to tell you what that did for my spirit. It gave me new life. God used that man to remind me “The human mind plans the way, but the LORD directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9).
Shortly after, I found a restaurant on the Upper East side where the hiring manager told me “… maybe I can find something for you, check back with me…” That was all I needed to hear - I showed up every day in black dress pants, a collared shirt and a tie asking “…how about today?” After a few days I wore him down and he hired me. Within two weeks, the restaurant fired the head manager, fired the head chef and lost 3 servers. They were desperate for me to work.
I worked every day from my first day on September 17th until the day Hurricane Sandy hit on October 22nd - 36 straight days, and many days were double-shifts! I went from not knowing where I’d get money for basic necessities to raking in almost $1400/week cash. I’ve never looked back since.
Those first couple of months in NYC tested my character and stretched me in ways I couldn’t imagine. From then until now, I have faced many seemingly insurmountable challenges, but I look back on all the times that God has guided me through the hidden, narrow, craggy pathways in the valleys of life.
"Our past triumphs are a source of courage for today’s trials. "
The blessings that God sends to us are often veiled by difficulty and struggle so that our character may be strengthened to properly use and appreciate the gifts He has granted.
Today I am happily married, living in a nice apartment in Queens with a fully paid-off car and supporting myself as a full-time musician - no easy feat in NYC and a far cry from where I was in the summer of 2012.
Being a Christian does not mean you will not have trouble in this life. It doesn’t mean that you will never have moments of doubt or need to make tough decisions. It doesn’t guarantee that all roads will be smooth for you or that you’ll never make a mistake. What it does offer is the promise that you will never be alone in the trials of life.
As you continue to walk prayerfully seeking God’s heart, you will find His storehouse of love has no bounds. You will grow to smile at each new challenge knowing that God is walking you through it not as a punishment, but in order to strengthen you and ready you for the blessings on the other side. Whatever you are going through today; whatever difficult decision lays before you; whatever fears of the future or regrets of the past may be clouding your vision, remember “The human mind plans the way, but the LORD directs the steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)
By Chris Murphy
About The Author :
Chris Murphy is an NYC-based singer-songwriter. Follow him on IG, FaceBook and TikTok at @murphyslawyer.nyc, visit his website at www.murphyslawyer.nyc and hear his music on all streaming platforms at Murphy's Lawyer.
Opmerkingen