“I am not defined by my features or the colour of my skin, my value does not change depending on the weight of my sin.” How beautiful will this world be if nobody judged others based on exterior qualities and gossip. How much more would we cherish each other if we just loved and cared regardless of race and religion. Zara Jayne could not have worded it better in this article."
by Zara Jayne Marimuthu
“Filipino!”
“Indonesian.”
“Singaporean.”
I swear people could never figure out if I was a Malaysian or not, and if they could, their first guess would be that I was Sabahan or Sarawakian.
“Bidayuh?”
“Iban?”
“Kadazan.”
Hold up.
Do y’all West Malaysians not know that we also have Indians on the other side of the island?
So I grit my teeth, smile and say, “I’m a Chindian”.
Now, for non-Malaysians, I had to explain to them what that was, educating them about how Malaysia is this melting cauldron of many races, cultures,
and heritage passed down from our ancestors, and so on and so forth.
Then the follow up questions begin:
“How is your English so good?”
“Tak cakap Melayu ke?”
“Eh, cannot speak Bahasa Sarawak ar?”
It often feels like I am in an interrogation of sorts from everyone around me but if I’m being honest, I actually appreciate these kinds of conversations, which lead me to many reflections.
I get it. It’s tricky looking the way that I do.
When Bulan Puasa comes around, that’s it lah.
Everyone at the mamak be looking at me some type of way,
or the times when some Christians be staring at my tattoos in disapproval as if I’ve gone astray .
Well listen close, cause this is what I gotta say:
I am not defined by my features or the colour of my skin,
My value does not change depending on the weight of my sin
I am not categorised by the language that I speak,
One should not assume just by the nature of my physique, I am not bound by the boxes you tick in the section where it says, “Race”
It’s 2020!
Look around!
I’m pretty sure that we’ve got some type of blended bloodlines in this place
But let me tell you what I am
I am generations of tongues and traditions,
pieced together so perfectly
that the melodies I make beat any work of a musician’s
I am layers of eternal truth and wisdom,
weaved together in harmony so that I can dance to my own rhythm
I am knitted together by hymns and history spoken into existence,
more exquisite than any other poetry
I am letters of love,
written down, enveloped and kept safe within the heart of the One above
because I am only meant to be unravelled to those who appreciate my worth
I am a ghetto chiquita with a hint of latina
Ay papi, sé que soy muy guapa
Look y’all,
I am Me
I am Zara Jayne Marimuthu
And I am whoever I want to be
I am so many things that I can’t even begin to list them all down
but I know that I have royalty in my blood, that’s why I don’t need to wear no crown
See, it doesn’t matter if you’re dark chocolate or white,
mocha-coloured or latte,
We just gotta be more open to the variety
of who we are today
Now, this is not my identity card,
This is not an identity crisis,
All I know is that my identity is in Christ, and that is priceless.
By Zara Jayne Marimuthu
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