COFFEE WITH COURAGE is a new segment where we conduct polls on our social media platforms and based on the answers that we receive we share these insights with you!
The topic of relationships truly transcends borders of everything we know and have heard of.
Why? Because everyone has an individual take on it, good or bad. We have all had our taste of relationships. It’s probably why this is a hot topic of interest that most of us, if not all, are always all-ears about.
It just so happened, during one of our team discussions, it struck us that we have some pretty sound advice for our younger selves about relationships… and then we became curious as to what others would advise their younger selves.
So what else were we left to do but conduct a mini-poll on what you, our readers and viewers, would advise your 15-year-old selves. And boy, were we glad we did because here is what you had to say:
1. Jassheena Christopher
Don't rush, take your time, and don't believe them when they tell you no one else will want you or love you. Remember to believe that you are beautiful inside out and remember to protect your heart :)
2. Kavita Steven
After God, the most important relationship you will have is with the person you see in the mirror. This sets precedence to every other relationship you will ever encounter in life.
3. Darlene Jayatilleke
a. Life is short. Literally, one day you’d wish you are earning your own money and when that day comes, you'd wish for childhood again.
b. Enjoy each moment. Parents are aging; Friendships come and go, and everyone will reach different phases of their lives one day--so enjoy your friends and family especially.
c. You are not responsible for others. You are responsible for you. Remember in Princess Diaries --
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"- Eleanor Roosevelt.
How you treat yourself is how others will treat you. Treat yourself well and don't allow yourself to be made inferior because you are beautifully and wonderfully made in God.
d. You are enough.
e. Take time out for yourself-- take care of yourself mentally and physically as well. *Very important.
4. Pravin Kumar.
“Love at first sight is not real. Don’t get attracted to a person just by the looks. There’s more than that and relationships will happen when you least expect it.”
5. Nusra
It's too young to get into a relationship as it is not love, merely infatuation. Focus on getting good grades, get into uni. The right one will come by when the time is right, wait for it. Seek what will seek you. But for now focus on finishing education
6. Vanajah Murugesu
a. Love yourself first before loving others.
b. Respect, trust and honesty are important keys in relationships
c. Don’t ever compare yourself with your partner. Both ppl have different paths of life. Embrace it
7. Nalinan Raju
I will make this short and simple. It will be naïve to stop or advice at this age, so I just want to say be in relationships experience and come back. Experience is the best lesson one can take.✌🏼 enjoy it while it *last*
8. Bianca Gabriel
I would tell her that as much as she thinks she knows best bout herself for the moment, it's better to surrender her desires to God (anything related to her future husband) and to always pray that He guards her from anything that would hurt her. And the only way of doing so, is to ensure she upholds God's laws and will at all times, so that when the right man comes (in God's time) she will know for sure.
Although she would want to experiment on her own and venture on to her own terrain in finding love, when this happens and it fails, I'd tell her to always run back to God and find strength and hope in Him again, so that she would never give up on finding real love and that whatever failure wouldn't rob her off her purity and innocence. Bottom line I'd tell her that the world has various versions of how love should be and what love is, according to their own experience and fantasies put out there.
The unshakeable definition of love is Jesus, and it's the only standard that will always prevail. So that's how you'll know whether someone really loves you, and that's the kinda love you deserve.
9. Joel
I believe Jesus would say first trust in Him. 15 years old is not a good time for a relationship. Jesus will make them wait upon the Lord first, then at the right time when they are mature enough to take care of themselves and put God first, then He will send the right person
10. Bernard Luvin
Date to marry. Through this process, we'll know about love, patience, give and take, and a deep understanding + it develops a high level of maturity and no messing around.
11. Priyadarshini Ganesan
Don’t rush things, there’s more. Enjoy the present, because you don’t get this time back!
12. Adam Sam
Don’t take it too personally. It’s good to have your heart crushed now rather than later in life. Just get your butt back in the game for round 2 and then fall again, head back for round 3, and probably you’re going to be crushing hearts now. But don’t let it get to your head too much when you’re at uni. Enjoy your uni life well, have fun but don’t let anyone crush you.
Build friendship here and make a name for yourself because it will help you when you finally graduate and get your first professional job which will give you a real kick like never before. And that’s when you’ll learn about life and pain.
13. .Neville Ponnurajah
Try to resolve things if there is a bad relationship. When the other person speaks, we must listen. At the end of the day having good relationships gives us a sense of peace.
14. Tabitha Long
Don't let anyone tell you your feelings are not valid. You’re human, you're allowed to feel. And not everyone that comes into your life has good intentions. Also, get ready to be hurt.
15. Sarah Ponnudorai
The first cut is the deepest. Keep it light!
16. Michelle Olivia
Relationship is more than a trophy or a security, it's a partnership.
17. Samuel James
Don't fear, learn swimming, be more fashionable, be more friendly and go travelling.
18. Uma Cristy
Don't rush. Know yourself and love yourself first. Be secure in your identity.
19. Jessica Subash
I would say that what is meant for you would find its way and it doesn't matter how long it takes.
20. Kenneth David
You are not what others say you are but you are who God says you are. Your identity is in Jesus!
21. Jessica Ann
a. Looks don't matter, character and heart matters in the long run.
b. Love yourself and get to know your self worth before loving someone else
c. Forgiveness is important. No one is perfect
d. Learn the value of being in a Christian relationship through your Christian walk. Read the Bible and listen to relationship sermons.
e. Be willing to listen instead of jumping to resolution advice. Sometimes just listening is helpful enough.
As we read through these responses, we were amazed at how different each response was. They clearly reflect such unique and distinct experiences everyone has been through. It was also encouraging to see how each experience has served as a life lesson, teaching us to be better and to rise above what may be seen as failures.
What comfort it is to know that the wounds eventually heal, although the scars may remain, not as a reminder of our failures but as a reminder to be more vigilant and not repeat similar misjudgments or mistakes again. This way we get to move on, progress and, along the way, help others navigate through their difficult times.
Thank you to everyone who took time to participate in our poll. Look out for the next!
Sincerely,
Team Courage
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