The Power of Forgiveness

"Forgiving. Forgetting. These may be the most challenging act for a human being yet. But with clarity, come understanding, and with understanding comes surrender. Read on for clarity on why forgiveness is not just an option, but an absolute necessity for us."

by Joshua Devaratnam

I will forgive but I will never forget..

This phrase is often what I've heard people say and also what I've experienced so many times.

We like the idea of forgiving someone but dislike the idea of forgetting the hurtful experience. Why? In my opinion, it serves as a defense mechanism to prevent you from not repeating the same mistake again. So we say things like I've forgiven but not forgotten, But in reality, have you really forgiven the person? Can you genuinely forgive a person that has hurt you and forget a past experience? By you not forgetting an experience, does it mean you have not forgiven?

We often think that forgiveness is meant for someone else but most of the time it's meant to set us free from ourselves. When you store up unforgiveness in your heart, the negative consequences of not forgiving has been documented in studies that show that it can lead to emotional pain of anger, hate, hurt, resentment, bitterness and as a consequence can create health issues, affect relationships and stop us from experiencing the freedom that forgiveness enables.

When we don’t forgive and experience symptoms of sadness, depression or anxiety the serotonin levels in our brain are lower than they should be which can also lead to other issues such as obsessive thinking. This can then lead to increased levels of stress hormones (cortisol) being released into our bodies because obsessive thinking is usually not a relaxing exercise."

What does forgiveness do for you?

"Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress. And research points to an increase in the forgiveness-health connection as you age."

Forgiveness is not just about saying the words, “It is an active process in which you make a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings whether the person deserves it or not,”. As you release the anger, resentment and hostility, you begin to feel empathy, compassion and sometimes even affection for the person who wronged you.

Therefore, when you forgive you actually free yourself from negativity!

Remember the part where I mentioned that forgiving can mean sometimes we do not forget? But what if I told you when you do not forget, you may still bear a grudge in your heart against a person unknowingly? That is why we must constantly ask the Lord to search our hearts so we are aware of what's happening in our hearts.

As the word of God says in Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

So if you approach life from an unforgiving heart, then you could be a bitter person that will constantly have insecurities, trust issues, anger issues and so forth. So it's of utmost importance to search your hearts today and ask God for grace to help you forgive and forget what people have done to you bearing in mind that we should always learn from these experiences and be wiser in our approach the next time.

The idea of forgiveness that is in the Bible is none that I have ever come across. It empowers you not to just forgive but rise above your hurts and wounds, and love the very same person that hurt you. This is a kind of love that Jesus demonstrated on the cross when He gave His life for you and me.

I always wondered how Jesus could forgive the very same people that were persecuting Him. To give you a graphic illustration of what Jesus endured for you and me - He was spat on. The soldiers “twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him.” (Mark 15:17)

His brow was punctured deeply by the long-thorned briar. The soldiers repeatedly struck Jesus on the head with a staff and they arrogantly spit on Him. (Mark 15:19)

Jesus’ face must have been swollen, His eyes blackened, His nose bloodied by the abusive Roman soldiers who were anxious to punish an insurrectionist. Then Pilate ordered Jesus flogged. Early historians assert that scourging was a most dreaded punishment. Bits of lead and stone made the whip a brutal, slashing instrument of terror, ripping a man’s back and legs to shreds, occasionally even tearing out an eye or slicing open an ear.

When forced to carry His own cross, the beam rubbed Jesus’ shoulders raw. When He stumbled and fell on the rough streets, He skinned His elbows and knees. Yup, while enduring all this, He forgave the Roman soldiers.

These were His words as He was being tortured “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:24). These words are an indication that while He was being tortured, Jesus was forgiving the people that were torturing Him.

Now, put yourself in a similar situation. Can you genuinely love someone that is torturing or abusing you? To be very honest, I would find it extremely difficult and probably hate the person torturing me. In normal circumstances, I find it hard to forgive someone that has hurt me, insulted me, what more in extreme circumstances that involves pain like the one Jesus went through. If you do not have the revelation of the cross, you will find it extremely hard to forgive someone.

What is the revelation of the cross? The fact that we do not deserve anything Christ did for us on the cross but by His sheer Grace He saved us from the penalty of sin which is death! This revelation has to hit our spirit. It will humble us to the point that we will forgive the people that have wronged us.

When I think about all the past hurts and experiences that have troubled me, I begin to think of the magnitude of the suffering Jesus endured for all of us on the cross and I ask myself, how did Jesus find it in His heart to Forgive all of us?

Well, He gave His life for you and me because He simply loved us. It is a Love that is sacrificial and deep that God sent His Son Jesus to pay the ultimate debt on the cross for you and me. Sin came and affected everyone through Adam so only through the sacrifice of Jesus, all of sin could be atoned for. There was no other way for us to have eternal life.

Jesus had to die for our sins!

Therefore, if God could forgive us and send His Son to atone for our sins, then who are we to hold a grudge against someone? We receive His forgiveness the moment we repent and the debt of sin completely paid for.

So why can't we forgive the person that has hurt us? In my opinion, a person that is unable to forgive doesn't fully comprehend the magnitude of his/her sin and the price Jesus had to pay so that they could have a shot at eternal life.

If Jesus had not paid the price once and for all, all of us will be in danger of eternal separation from God. Yes, you guessed it right - Hell fire!

Imagine burning for eternity for your sins with no way out! So if God goes through extreme lengths to give you a shot at eternal life, then why can't you and me forgive the people that have hurt us?

So when I think of His love for me, the torture He endured for me & His sacrifice on the cross, this empowers me to forgive the people that have hurt me. So you don’t just forgive but are able to go as far as loving the person that hurt and wounded you.

The Bible always goes against the current or the normal way of doing things. For example, if a person wrongs you, you are told to retaliate, stand up for yourself, speak up, take revenge and so forth. But In the Bible, you are told to love your enemies and forgive the ones that have hurt and wounded you. You are told to treat the people that mistreat you with LOVE but of course we are encouraged to place healthy boundaries in place so we are not badly mistreated.

Here are some ways that have helped me forgive someone that has wronged me.

1. Think of Jesus sacrifice on the Cross

We ourselves have harmed and hurt people. As mentioned above, think about the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for you. If a perfect God can forgive us and give us a shot at eternal life, then why can't we forgive the people that have wronged us?

2. Speak to the Holy Spirit

The most effective way is to directly speak to the Holy Spirit about your issues. If you find it hard to forgive then tell Him that. Be completely honest with God and God will help you forgive, my dear friends.

3. Speak blessings over the people that have hurt you

Life and death is in the power of the tongue. In your prayer, keep blessing the people that have hurt you and God's grace will empower and enable you to completely forgive them to the point you can even bless them!

4. Thank God for His Grace.

On a daily basis, keep thanking God for His Grace. From a heart of gratitude, you will appreciate the little and simplest things in life like waking up in the morning, being able to walk, speak, eat and breathe. Trust me folks, you wouldn't want to hold a grudge against anyone if you truly appreciate the life God has given you. Constantly ask the Holy Spirit to create in you a clean heart..

5. Speak to your leaders.

Speak about your issues to people that are wise and mature. Never keep things in your heart cause they may fester into negative thoughts which in turn becomes unforgiveness. Unforgiveness can lead to many unpleasant things as mentioned above.

6. Be around friends that speak life

Negative influences can always bring about negative consequences. A good friend will always give you wise counsel that stems from the word of God. So be wise and careful about who you seek counsel from. Ask God for discernment and He will guide your steps.

By Joshua Devaratnam